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The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

WTF .... really....

September 6th, 2007 (09:19 pm)
Tags: ,

WOW has it been that long since I updated...Sure I have posted galore on Myspace...I could always copy and paste from there....but I wont...because most people who have my LJ are also my Myspace friends...and if you arent...you should be...

WOW, what to say, so much has happened between then and now..The best part, I am out of Brooklyn and in my new white and shiney, CLEAN rat free store...Still hangin with my girls Melly and Lena...Wont get into the Dorothy issue...its a dead issue and I am leaving it at that, seeing how I dont talk about people behind there backs like others do.

Just a whole lot of work and shit...Jamie is leaving his wife...::kablink:: yeah, that threw me for a loop...

Heck..be a friend and here is my plug for myspace...read all about my crap there..there is just so much to tell..

myspace.com/naughtypagan 

I think the link is on my front page of LJ anyway....Im friggen beat...

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

So less stress

February 19th, 2007 (07:32 pm)
tired

current location: little egypt
current mood: tired
current song: silence

So happy, not so much stress as last position. Yaay for me...but my back friggen hurts like hell. But thats okay, becuause next friday when I check my account and  I have a FAT check sitting there, it will all be worth it. OK, so you have to either park on the street or in the pay lot...::twich:: which I find is very stupid of the company...no, infact, thats FUCKED up.

Not much really to say, Tired...cant wait to sleep later. Next week I work nights. 

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

It so had to be done...

February 2nd, 2007 (09:24 pm)
weird
Tags:

current location: Little Egypt
current mood: weird
current song: The voices in my brain

and what a perfect name for me...I am the mandrake queen ::snickers:: Oh the love of the mandrake I have, it has never failed me once. If Dorothy had LJ I would give her a shout out, but she doesnt, so I wont, but she knows how much I love me some mandrake root, muahahah...OKay now I have to go



The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

So

January 28th, 2007 (05:41 pm)

I am thinking about changing my LJ account but I dont want to loose my paid account, sooo I might be changing my account...Ill let everyone know if I do and what the new name would be...or I will just wait until my paid account runs out..whatever

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

(no subject)

January 16th, 2007 (05:33 pm)
cheerful
Tags:

current location: still in little egypt
current mood: cheerful
current song: NIN - everyday is the same

OK, So I never considered myself Goth, EVER...but hey, whatever

You scored as Romantic Goth. You are a romantic goth, better known as a traditional goth. You are probably quickly identified as a goth by outsiders. Black lace, bats, and moonlit cemetaries are just a few of your favorite things. Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one.

</td>

Anything-Goes Goth

88%

Romantic Goth

88%

Old-school Goth

83%

Death Rocker

79%

Understanding Outsider

75%

Fantasy Goth

58%

Perky Goff

50%

Ethereal Goth

46%

Industrial/Rivet-Head

29%

Confused Outsider

25%

Cyber-goth

21%

What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
created with QuizFarm.com

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

Drums and stuff

January 16th, 2007 (05:10 pm)
thoughtful
Tags:

current location: little egypt
current mood: thoughtful
current song: NIN - The hand that feeds

So, Im kinda glad I didnt make it to Vermont this weekend...yeah, seeing Jamie and being with him would of been nice and all, but I guess thats going to have to wait until the Summer, which is probably the next time Im going up there. I heard they had an ice storm anyway so its good I didnt go..I might still be there.lol..and WHO WOULD RUN THE LAB  * gasp* Yeah, Im still waiting on my DM to contact me, If I dont hear from him by Thursday mayhaps I will call him.

Friday night was nice, Went to a drum circle with Dorothy and Jez, not what I expected but it was very nice indeed. Really good sounds were made, and now I have to buy a drum. Besides, every bellydancer should know how to playone, epsecially if you dance to one...no?
Its time to get the bloat off...Soulfire is comming up and if my boss gives me off the day after, Im there...granted..I still have the same boss. I am going to throw myself into my costume and we all know how self-consience I am when the middle is bare...well, until I start dancing and let the drums take me away....Hopefully this time I wont be yanked out of my body, lol...we shall see.

Sunday was fun, Lol, started off the day with Tim, cuddeling in bed..besides other things, then he had to go to work, so we figured we would continue when he got out, Little did we know mom was going to be hom...grrrr, but thats okay...I stayed over, waited until she fell asleep then snuck into his room, kinda like teenagers. I had to laugh, it was too funny, especially the tiptoeing around in the morning.
Its not like we are teenagers or anything but his mom has issues with me in his room and staying over...I can understand that, but its also not like I am some woman he just picked up..Im me...We hung out yesturday too, so today we are giving each other space, dont want it to be that in your face all the time kinda thing, thats not very healthy, and it made us icky...So I will see him tomorrow when  I get out of work, hes off so Im going straight there.

Im going to go get my shimmie on..

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

Yup

January 8th, 2007 (12:29 am)
bored
Tags:

current location: little egypt
current mood: bored
current song: the sound of the rain



Did you?

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

In the past 24 hours

January 4th, 2007 (08:22 pm)
bored
Tags:

current location: Little Egypt
current mood: bored
current song: Tourniquet - MM

NOT even 24 hours....2 good old friends have contacted me in there own way. First was Flora who was my partner in crime in High School. We lost touch because of stupid reasons and we have found each other on myspace. BUT the ball in her corner, if she wants to revive the friendship, she has to take a step up and out to do it, I have tried one too many times, and I no longer beat dead horses ( poor horsie).

The other is Willien !
Willien was my best friend since 7th grade....GODDAMN that is such a long time. Out of the fucking blue she calls me today. She moved to Florida but is comming up next month so we are going to get together and bullshit about old times...I am so happy and excited. I never in a million years would think I would hear from her any time soon. Yowza.

I am so bored, im not used to being at work. I get to go back for 2 more days then im off for 2 more. Saturday is supposed to be great out..if I dont get together at the hang out joint with the crazy friends of mine, me and a few are just going to go to the park and chill with the nature...speaking of nice weather...am i the only one bothered by the lack of winter???? Yeah but we dont have global warming going on, right Mr. Bush?  jeeze...its only 8:30pm

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

Full Moon of January

January 4th, 2007 (02:34 pm)
relaxed

current mood: relaxed
current song: Benzine - Rammstein

Was amazing, the energy mamma moon put forth was intense. The crowd was rather large for a weekday. I am still trying to figure out why there was a girl with purple fairy wings there, but I think there was alot of acid or shrooms floatin around, but whatever. The negative ones left early in the night, So we were able to raise some good energy afterwards.
I sat for a while and meditated on Inanna...Im devoting myself to her. I feel her calling and connection...she yanked me out of my body last night, then when I came back I danced as if I werent me for a while. A few people noticed...I definitly noticed, more swaying and less shimmy. But it was fun. 
Ms. Imani brought out the singing bowls and OH MY GODDESS, the alst hour was amazing, I felt like I was going to float away again. yowza.

So I really need to get off this computer and go run some errands, I just dont wanna...

I had a dream last night , or rather, this morning, of Tim upset and crying, so I texted him today and he is having a very depressed day. I dont like when he is sad, Im now picking up on the energy and Im trying to send him some good, but I dont know if its working, If we get together later Ill reiki him, he starts therapy next week. Im glad he is going back to therapy, glad something I said got through to him. I just want him to be happy again. If we dont get together tonight we will do something either sunday or monday, so thats cool too. I understand where he is comming from, sometimes when your depressed you dont want anyone around..no matter who they are. I did start softly crying when I was on the phone with him, I dont think he noticed. Or he didnt say if he noticed. I think it might have been from me feeling his sadness, or just because I miss the shit out of him.
Since I invoked Inanna the other night, I have been feeling alot more and experiencing much much more then before. She is such a powerfull Goddess. Eventually, I want to work with Tiamat. Another goddess I feel a pull towards. Whats up with me and the extremely ancient ones...lol...

I cleaned my room....yay for me...I can see my pretty hardwood floors. 

OK, its time to get off my ass and get going.

The one and only Jilla Bean [userpic]

(no subject)

January 3rd, 2007 (07:13 pm)
happy
Tags:

current location: Little Egypt
current mood: happy
current song: Some classical number

Yes, the cheesecake was yummers...I'm very proud of myself...

So I got off tomorrow from work, yup, I took a day :::gasp:: : whatever shall they do...sure, I have to deal with the mess on Friday but I think I am leaving the lab in capable hands that I wont have to break.

So now Im sitting here waitng for Dorothy to come and collect me so we can so to CoSM and dance our asses off...or in my case, dance the cheesecake off. 

I got to spend some time with Tim yesturday, which was pretty much the highlight of my week. I had to see him, feel his arms around me, his lips against mine. We both have so much shit we have to fix within ourselves before we can be...again. If...
But Im just happy knowing he is still there for me and he knows I am there for him. He is such a special person. Hopefully we will be getting together some time next week. I so miss his embraces.
I found the emerald ring that I hadnt worn in forever, firt, because its gold, and I dont wear yellow god, second , well, I dont have a second. I wonder how much It would be to change the setting to something white gold. its a triangle, so I dont know if that would be extra because its not a typical setting. Im going to have to look into that one.

Well, I really dont have much to rant about today, besides the usual assholes from work who think I can split in two and be in 2 places at the same time. Heck, if I could do that....Id be making money off of myself. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

We invoked Inanna the other night, she is so amazing, the things she showed me, wowed the socks off of me. I felt such comfort with her.
She opened her arms up to me and accepted me.
I am now devoting myself to her as a priestess.
_________________________________________________________________________________________

Thinking about heading up to High Rock tomorrow, its supposed to be nice out. Maybe Ill do that, grab the headphones and pepperspray and dagger ( yeah im fucking paranoid...and what ... ). Probably be too chilly to head to the beach, but we shall see. I have some returns to take care of at toys r us and the mall ( ack )

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